The Birds and Bees of Murder

There were two cold blooded, premeditated murders at Bismark Ave. on Monday night. We have a nest of carpenter bees in the wooden beam at the corner of our patio room. Now I know what you’re thinking. Who leaves a nest of bees in their back yard!?! Well, I do! I’m a gardener and watching the birds and the bees and flora and fauna of Mother Nature is pure delight to me. Back to the murder. We started out with one beautiful big shiny black carpenter female. She drilled a hole before we were even aware of her presence and started tunneling her nest into the corner of the beam. She seemed harmless enough. Before we knew it she had attracted two males. We had never before seen these type of bees in all our years of gardening. So we’re fascinated! They are a pretty golden brown and a bit fuzzy and are commonly called Teddy Bear bees.They all buzzed around the yard since late winter and by spring we had read on line that they would mate, lay the eggs and be through with the process by the end of the summer. But in the mean time, they invited two more female bees to move in!! Another shiny black one and a black one with a yellow stripe between her wings. We started to worry. How were they all cramming into that little nest. They must be making it bigger! Oh my. This is getting serious. Back to the internet. We discover that it is common for them to invite in roommates. So now we have 3 females laying eggs!! Yikes! Back to the murder. We’ve watched these bees now for about 3 months. The males tend to fight now and again. Try to block each other from getting into the nest. We can hear little rows going on inside the nest, but for the most part it’s peaceful in the back yard. But last Monday night that all came to an end. It was late in the afternoon. Tom went out in the back to have a smoke. He called me out to the back yard to see that one of the Teddy Bear bees was laying on his back just outside of the nest and the second male was buzzing all around and frantically trying to get into the nest. The females were guarding the opening and not allowing him in. We were perplexed!! Did they fight to the death this time!?! Did he eat something poison in my garden? So we watched. The second male took off and flew around the yard in a frenzy. Dive bombed us a couple of times and kept trying to get into the nest.We scooped up the dead bee into a plastic container so we could get a closer look at him. He has very large green eyes that just kept looking at us with a vacant stare. We got creeped out and bored and went back in the house. Couple of hours later, we went out to see if things had calmed down, there was the second male bee dead outside the nest! Conclusion-----the females killed the males. Cold blooded, premeditated murders! They had done the only job they were born to do, mate with the females and that was all she wrote. They were goners! Used up and unceremoniously disposed of!! Mother Nature sure can be a Mother F______. We will watch the females now and wait for the babies. When we are sure they are done, we will plug up the hole and hope that the corner of the patio room does not collapse!! Wish me luck!