Don't ask don't tell... I'm turning 40!

Hello. I am really trying to remember to blog every week but... it's hard. I actually think about what I will write and then I begin to just "go off". Now though, I am really busy with soccer and work. I am on vacation this week though so, no excuses. Today the "Don't ask don't tell" policy was overturned meaning it's not going to be ok to be gay and in the military. Why are people so freakin' freaked out about gay people. I mean seriously, it shouldn't matter. It's like how many gay people in the military are walking around saying "Haaay... what's up girl? I looooovvvve your cammo outfit... you look good in that hat"? Really? No, they are just doing their thing and their job. I'm a huge gay and I don't walk around with a chain hanging from my wallet and my sleeves rolled up. I don't hit on chicks in the Drive Thru nor do I ask customers what year their car is and can I work on it. (I don't do that shit anyway, I'm just making a point here). The military people are doing their job and trying to do it right, without provocation. Whatever, paranoid America... paranoid Christian America.

My son just told me a joke: There's a white guy and a black guy in a car... whose driving?... the cop. Wow. What is my son learning? I laughed, it was funny. He said, "I don't get it?" I said, "me either".

So, my soccer team... awesome. No drama. Just a good, well organized, well coached team. I am very pleased. We have a really good shot at a championship this season. 4 games in, undefeated, great attitudes, great hustle... great team. Lucky, lucky me.

I'm turning 40 in 4 days. I feel, physically 40, mentally 25. My body has been so sore lately. I think actually I feel like 50 or 60 physically and probably 18 mentally. Whatever... I'm not excited... not at all. It hasn't quite hit me yet, probably a couple days after. I have a lot of repressed shit that could explode at any moment. I'm actually pretty freaked out and I don't know if anyone I know can feel this way. Maybe my sister or brother or one of my friends that just turned 40. Or someone who has turned 40 in the past and is waiting to find out if they might possibly have the gene that might provide early onset Alzheimer's disease an opportunity to affect you. Whoa! Was that too crybaby drama queeenish? yeah well what the fuck. Put that shit on your to do list... fuck an A! For those of you who follow me regular, I still don't have the results. Dun dun dun dun!
I'm not going to hole up and cry though... we gotta keep moving right? Like a fish... keep swimmin'... keep swimmin'... I'm going to just live my life, drinkin' beer, smokin' cigarettes and having more coffee than a cop working the graveyard shift. As long as I got my wife and kids and these friggin' mutts we keep ending up with, all is well. I have a lot more shit than most people I know and I'm as happy as... (trying to come up with something clever)... a clam?... ooh, not at all clever. Fuck it, I'm too old to be clever right?

So... if I make it to Saturday I'll post a sweet birthday blog and add some video... ooh that'll be neat!

Catching up on soccer and the Koran

ok so i'm friggin' sorry. it's soccer season and i haven't been blogging. Hell, I haven't even been on twitter very much. I'm a busy bitch. here's a couple things though: the douche bag that wants to burn the Koran or Quran (however the hell we spell it now...) is a fucking idiot. He has the right to do this unspeakable deed but he's a total dick for doing it. My next door neighbors are total and complete assholes and from now on when they say something shitty or give me a dirty look I'm just going to say "you know what? Fuck you... I'm a nice God damn person and your a total dick" (I will say this to the Dad, Mom or the two bitchy, weird 11 yr. old twins). Fuckin had it with those people. I've tried, really have, they just are hateful and miserable...

My soccer team is awesome. We are really good so far, I hope that we can maintain the momentum and beat some teams down this season. We are the Hammerheads and despite the stupid name, my boys got some mad skills. First game 4-3, second game 5-0 and we play this Saturday. My assistant coach is really good and doesn't just show up whenever and wear flip-flops or lay on the grass. He actually helps. You all should come watch one game... even for like 5 minutes... I really get into it. I jump up and down, run up and down the field, sometimes I roll around, I've gotten hit (really fuckin' hard) in the head and side of my face and twice I was walking backwards, tripped over a ball and fell down... TWICE! I love it. Games are like my freakin' drug. I live for them. I get really nervous and excited just before, I say inappropriate things to the parents because I kinda lose my mind for a few minutes. It's a blast. I don't even play... I just tell them what to do and half the time I'm shouting out random shit that I don't even know if it makes sense or not. Whatever, I always win. Not like every game but I feel like my players learn something from me. If anything, they know I care. I was the mother loving coach of the 2008 U10 AYSO Ventura Championship team for Gods sake! Don't trip, I know my shit bitches!

My car was left unlocked and some fuck-stick broke into everybody's car last Sunday and got away with 2 of my iPods and 2 brand new packs of smokes. I was bummed. This happen last year and I've been keeping the car locked but I forgot to check that night and sure enough... 1st time they only got cigarettes but this time the iPods.

My employees chipped in and bought me a nice new one that's better than the 1st so that was pretty cool. I cried when they gave it to me. How thoughtful they are. Don't even think of stealing it out of my car, it ain't gonna be in there fuckers!

I'm turning 40 in a few weeks and I'm kinda shitting bricks a little bit. I really need to quit smoking and go to like the doctor or whatever but... let's just see how those genetic test results come out before I make any rash decisions right? Yeah, that sounds good.

Well, that's it, nothing too exciting. Patriot day is coming up. I'll be in my back yard burning the Koran and just for good measure I'll throw in a Bible or two. What the hell.