Whatever... so my google search results are how to tie a tie or you-tube the shuffle dance step by step... who really knows what they base this on?
Other news... my fucking ridiculous allergies are beginning again. Oh snapper fish, I didn't blog about my super awesome February allergic meltdown!! well, let me start with a photo that i will upload but won't show up in this exact location so hopefully you haven't looked at it yet. It requires a little warning. This is NOT how I normally look.
for the record. i deleted these. they were so awful. so yuck. had to drop that shit. i'm too vain. yick...
Ok, I posted 3. I gradually had some symptoms of allergy. Starting with itchy tongue then ears. A day or so later, my lower lip swelled, then my top lip. Itchy, red hands and feet. Swollen hands. Unbearable itchy feet and toes. Thought of anything new I'd eaten or used to wash my body or clothes with. Nothing was different, no explanation. I started to get very, very anxious. This worsened each day. I had an itchy chin, my eyebrow started to swell and itch and then I woke up one morning and I looked like someone hit me in the forehead with a metal pipe. My face!!! My precious face!! I was horrified. I had gone to Urgent Care, they told me to take benedryl and some other daytime shit. I tried that, no relief. Googled it, tried it all... no help. Angioderma is what I finally concluded and that, surprisingly, has no cure but isn't deadly. Some relief was found because this bizarre torturous thing had a name. I had a couple shots of keratin in my ass and that only slowed the swelling. The itching had turned to rash and it was all over my arms, then the back of my legs and finally... my inner thighs... I was always grateful that my crotch didn't itch...then it did. AAAAAGGGHHHH!! Truly awful. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Truthfully... torture, depression and anxiety were my complete composure during this time. It became kinda scary when I had to stop every few hours at work (meanwhile... this has been about 3 1/2 weeks, I haven't called in sick once) because I felt like I couldn't breathe. That's when I left work early, went to urgent care and had a full on panic attack. I told the nurse it felt like the inside of my throat was swelling and that was crazy. She responded with: "that's not crazy, it probably is". Holy shit!!! Now I needed an epi-pen and was told by my doctor (which I felt I had to get due to this mad illness) that if I felt like this again I should slam this needle in my thigh and call 911. Does she have ANY idea how expensive an ambulance is??? Yeah, right? 911 my ass!!
I went to an allergist and they scratched and poked my skin what felt like 100 times. They took a bunch of little swabby tests and the conclusion was that I'm allergic to every kind of fucking plant and grass you can think of. It sort of slowly went away. I had hell for 4 weeks then nothing. Now, I get itchy ears and swollen eyebrows and lips but nothing noticeable or crazy. I take claritin during the day when I feel any symptoms and now I owe urgent care, the allergist and my doctor about $300 in total (I, luckily, have insurance through my job or I'd be out a few thousand). The whole experience, made me realize how ultra, super sensitive I am to pain and discomfort. I am a huge pussy but at the same time, tolerate a lot before I make a doctor's appointment. I guess that's normal for a pussy. Don't want to take my car to the mechanic because they'll discover something ridiculous, same thing for a doctor.
If this is what happens when you get older then holy shit! I can't wait to shit my pants and forget where the fuck I'm standing! Pretty sure benadryl and claritin won't take care of those symptoms.
Let's hope I can just get through a few more high pollen counts before those things happen! Here's to an easy menopause that google will never recognize...
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